


sleep, don't weep

by kingsatanthegay



Series: lonely soldier [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Hospitalization, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Langst, M/M, Songfic, Suicide Attempt, listen i did him dirty in part 1 i needed to fix my mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:35:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27344431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingsatanthegay/pseuds/kingsatanthegay
Summary: me: i'm done writing for the vld fandomalso me: but..... what if..........i wrote this like..... two or three weeks ago and i meant to post it then but i forgot this even existed so.......ig this is me trying to heal from part 1? like i wrote that bc that's how i felt, and i wrote this bc it's how i feel now/how i want to feel? idk but ENJOY SOME FLUFF FOR ENDURING THE ANGST(based offsleep, don't weepby damien rice)
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Series: lonely soldier [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1996786
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	sleep, don't weep

**Author's Note:**

> me: i'm done writing for the vld fandom  
> also me: but..... what if..........  
> i wrote this like..... two or three weeks ago and i meant to post it then but i forgot this even existed so.......   
> ig this is me trying to heal from part 1? like i wrote that bc that's how i felt, and i wrote this bc it's how i feel now/how i want to feel? idk but ENJOY SOME FLUFF FOR ENDURING THE ANGST
> 
> (based off [sleep, don't weep](https://youtu.be/he6x-pMgTKo) by damien rice)

It had been months since Keith, or anyone for that matter, had properly seen Lance. He was always holed up in the guest bedroom, hiding away from his friends and family for reasons Keith couldn’t fathom. He had known, of course, that Lance struggled with his self-esteem, among other things, despite his quite obvious bravado, and he wondered if this had something to do with that. But what would cause Lance to suddenly feel unloved and unworthy? He was finally back home on Earth, surrounded by the people who loved him and whom he loved, just like he had wanted when they were stuck in space. Keith could still remember the bittersweet look in his eye and the wistful tone of his voice whenever he spoke of the antics he and his siblings would get up to late at night on the farm or of the warmth of his  mamá’s hugs in the mornings.

The lifeless body he cradled in his arms was but a shadow of the boy he had fallen in love with all those years ago. An image rose in his mind of Lance’s gaze softening as it scanned Keith’s face in the aftermath of their victory against Sendak.  _ We are a good team, _ is what he had said then, before drifting off to sleep. Now, the ringing in Keith’s ears drowned out the sobbing around him, but he could feel his own voice in his chest, knew  somehow he was apologizing, and watched in horror as Lance’s eyes slipped shut, consciousness leaving him along with the warmth in his skin. His expression was not content as it had been in Keith’s memory; far from it, it was pinched and tight, as if Lance’s anxiety would not leave him even in death.

Keith drew him closer to his chest. He felt like he was imploding, his throat tightening around a sandpaper feeling and he realized the ringing in his ears was his own screams as he begged Lance to  _ wake up, come back to me, I love you, don’t leave me— _

A metal hand grasped his shoulder tightly, a comforting squeeze, and  its suddenness shocked him back into action. He stood, gathering Lance’s limp body in his arms, and stormed past his teammates, blind to the panic on Hunk’s face and the numb shock on Pidge’s, down the stairs and out the door to where he had parked his hoverbike. He straddled it, awkwardly holding Lance in front of him as he pressed the button to turn the engine.

_ “Keith!”  _ Shiro grabbed the handlebars, holding them in place before Keith had the chance to shoot off into the night.

“Let go Shiro! He’s not gone yet, I- I can still save him!” He jerked the steering, hard, trying desperately to dislodge it from Shiro’s grasp. “I have to get him to the hospital, now! Before it’s too late-!”

“Keith! For once in your life, would you  fucking listen to me?” Keith finally looked up at Shiro’s face. His older brother was snarling at him, eyes wild and swimming in tears. Not once had Shiro snapped at Keith like this, not even when he had stolen the man’s car. “Think for a moment. You’re only putting Lance in more danger by doing this! Bring him here-” As he spoke, he guided Keith over to his pickup truck and had him lay Lance in the bed. Shiro instructed him on how to support Lance’s breathing and keep him warm and in the recovery position. He hopped up into the driver’s seat and slammed his foot on the gas. They only had an hour to get Lance to a hospital before it would be too late and the nearest one was at least two hours away.

Gripping the steering wheel more tightly, he pressed his foot more insistently on the pedal.

_ Please, I can’t lose someone else this way. _

* * *

He was okay. He was okay. Lance was okay. He was pale and skinny and hooked up to a dozen beeping machines but he was alive and breathing and he was okay.

Keith curled his fingers around his boyfriend’s hand, trying to ignore the tubes feeding into his forearm.  _ It’s okay, _ he reminded himself.  _ It means there’s still hope.  _ He closed his eyes and breathed deeply through his nose to calm his racing heartbeat. 

A soft knock on the door alerted him to the nurse’s presence. They smiled gently at him and told him visiting hours were over. He was half-tempted to pull the “I’m a saviour of the universe” card but decided he needed to distract himself from this stress so he could sleep. He thanked them and bid Lance farewell with a kiss on the forehead.

* * *

When he awoke, it was  to soft snoring on one side and harsh beeping on the other. His mind was bleary and confused as he tried to get his arms underneath himself to sit up but there was a stinging tug on his wrist and he gave up, too tired and weak to bother making another attempt. 

He blinked his eyes open, squinting against the light directly above him, brain foggy as it tried to piece together disjointed memories and what little he was becoming aware of. His gaze drifted to the source of the snoring only to find Keith slumped over in a chair, head resting next to where their joined hands lay beside Lance’s hip. His thumb twitched against his sleeping boyfriend’s bruised and split knuckles, sighing softly in concern.

His movement or his breath caused Keith to stir, pushing himself back into the chair and almost releasing Lance’s hand so he could stretch out his back. Lance squeezed his hand as hard as he could to keep him right where he was, right where Lance needed him to be. Keith blinked in alarm and gasped when he locked eyes with Lance, and Lance watched them fill with tears and his thick eyebrows pinch together.

Keith opened and closed his mouth, trying and failing to say something, anything, but Lance beat him to it.

“Where’d you get those cuts on your hand...” he mumbled, words coming slowly and slurring together. “Thought I told you ‘bout pushing yourself...”

“Lance!” Keith gasped, diving forward and embracing him. Lance flinched, making him pull away, apologies on his lips.

“What...” His mouth felt like cotton, he couldn’t get any more words out.

Keith was smoothing his hair back with his free hand, murmuring comfortingly to him. “Don’t worry about it, sweetheart. You’re alright now, and we can deal with the rest later, okay?” He pressed his mouth against Lance’s hairline, just breathing him in and absorbing his presence, his aliveness. “I love  you, you know that? I love you so fucking much, Lance, don’t you dare ever doubt that for a second.” A kiss on his forehead- “-You are my world-” -on the tip of his ski-slope nose- “-my universe-” the sharp bow of his upper lip- “-my comfort, my joy-” -Keith smiled against his mouth but Lance could feel his lips trembling- “my  loverboy , my everything-” -finally, a kiss on his lips, gentle and loving and all-encompassing and sending shivers down his body- “Don’t ever scare me like that again. I need you, Lance. We all need you and want  _ you,  _ you hear me? I could never replace you, could never love someone the way I love you. You are my most important person and I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost you.”

Somewhere in the middle of Keith’s tirade, tears had begun streaming freely from Lance’s eyes, and by the end he was a sobbing, snotty mess shoving his face into the hollow of Keith’s throat and pressing his emotion into Keith’s skin. Keith clutched him tightly, burying his face in Lance’s shoulder and letting out a shuddering breath.

Eventually, a nurse came to check on his condition and politely asked if Keith could wait outside while they checked Lance over.

He reached his shaky hands up to Keith’s cheeks when they parted. Lance pressed a fragile kiss to his parted lips, whispering, “I’m sorry I scared you. I love you, too. Go get some proper sleep, and stop crying for me. It’s not very lone wolf of you.” 

Keith kissed him back, hard, before pulling away, promising to be back later and wiping his tear-streaked face. Lance laughed wetly, a small smile on his lips as he watched him go. Keith paused in the doorway, turning back with a furrow to his brow. Lance wiggled his fingers at him, telling him he’d be fine and not to worry. He clearly didn’t want to leave, and Lance couldn’t blame him. 

The memories were coming back to him now, each one like a punch to the gut. The guilt consumed him— _ how could he have been so selfish? _ —and he wanted to curl in on himself but the nurses were still tending to him. Now that he had seen the true extent of Keith’s raw  emotions he felt stupid for ever having doubted his place in the man’s life.  Of course Keith loved him, if he hadn’t then he wouldn’t have stuck around his boisterous family or put up with any of Lance’s dramatics.

The corner of Lance’s mouth tugged downwards as he realized he would have to explain himself not only to his other teammates, but also to his  mamá and his siblings and his niece and nephew. He wasn’t looking forward to it, but at least Keith would be there with him, holding his hand and standing strong beside him every step of the way, even if there came a time where he would break again. 

After a lifetime of being the third or fifth or seventh wheel, being the last one picked and no one’s first choice, he finally had found a place where he belonged: in the comfort of Keith’s embrace, where he felt safest and most loved. The universe may not need him to be its defender anymore, but his universe, his world, his family and friends, they still needed him. And that was perfect.


End file.
